The “Poke” Mandates

So I have been toiling with this post for months. What to say, how to convey my position to actually make people stop and listen, and not immediately go into attack mode and label me an anti-vaxxer. Actually, that might be a great place to start. Let me make one thing painfully clear, I AM NOT AN ANTI-VAXXER! I am current on all of my vaccines, including some most people may not have. I’m in the medical profession so I get my flu shot every year, have my titers checked, etc. I am also a Crohn’s patient. I have lived with this disease for 18 years. I’ve been on all the therapy drugs, immunosuppressants, steroids, you name it, we’ve tried it. I am fortunate that my Crohn’s falls on the mild side. So after years of personal research, different drug’s and basically just trying to figure out what the Hell worked, I was able to figure out that my diet and lifestyle were the biggest factors. So I figured out what foods were triggers, (it’s a lot of fun ones unfortunately) eliminated alcohol and caffeine (I know!) I’ve been able to control my disease with diet and lifestyle for 10 years. I am not immune-compromised. I will on occasion have a mild flare, (I mean it doesn’t go away.) I’ve just learned how to navigate the autoimmune waters. Now if your wondering why I’m telling you all of this, it’s for a reason. After my first bowel resection, the dietitian came in for a consult post op, and the first thing I asked her for was a copy of a Crohn’s diet. She looked at me and said “there isn’t one.” I looked at her bewildered as I lay there with a 5 inch incision from my bowels being resected due to a perforation, packed with dressing, granulating closed on it’s own. She then followed up with “there isn’t one, because everyone is different!” (Hold on to this statement for later readers.) “You’ll need to figure out what you can tolerate.” After she explained it, it did make sense, what worked for me, might not work for the next person with completely different DNA and anatomy. I mean not one of us humans is exactly the same.

Fast forward to today. September 2021, the time in history that will be remembered for COVID and vaccine MANDATES, and politicians making speeches with “for the greater good.” snuck in there, Which is generally always prefaced with “sacrifices must be made!”(Name one time in history where that political justification turned out good.) Corporations mandating vaccines or face termination, local city governments passing mandates to be vaccinated to socialize in public spaces. It’s like reading Orwell. People have been so indoctrinated with fear, and this perfect political weapon has been yielded with split hair precision, it’s literally divided families! Are you fucking kidding me! Dividing lifelong relationships and families…It’s got to stop!

So remember in that first paragraph above where I mentioned “everyone is different.” Well that’s not fairytale conjecture, that is scientific fact. Let me explain a bit why I’m so personally against mandates. First and foremost, it’s the vaccine itself. There just simply isn’t enough long term effect study data period. Second, for my patient population, Crohn’s, there is 0 study data! This little fact is by the actual admission of the FDA, CDC and pharmaceutical companies. There is no data for me to make a safe, confident medical decision to take the vaccine. We were left out of the initial studies. Let me say that again, THERE IS ZERO DATA. I don’t know how my body will react. It could be mild, it could be violent with devastating results. Anyone up for Russian Roulette? I am not alone, there are thousands of people in my shoes. People who are being mandated out of their livelihoods because they are scared to play Russian Roulette. They’re not anti-vaxxers, they, like me, are scared, and there is no one to hold accountable should the unthinkable happen from the vaccine. I’m furious we are at this point in our society. How did we get here?

My intention is not to make this political. But if you are of the mindset that people who are unvaccinated are selfish, you are part of the problem. If you’ve uttered the words “I don’t know why they just don’t take the damn vaccine!” You to are part of the problem. Let me turn that table a bit, I think you are being selfish for expecting masses of people you know nothing about, stand in line to do something they are not comfortable with, put themselves at risk, just to extinguish your fears. Do you see how that works? It’s a vicious cycle.

I want you to stop for a second and remember “we are all not the same.” And what that really means. I want you to stop judging, and bullying people for trying to hold onto their civil liberties and decide what is best for their own well being and physical person. We have that right. (For now.) Don’t throw that away so easily. If we continue down these paths, with these mainstream and social media poisoned mindsets, we are truly very soon going to be living in 1984.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Don’t judge, stop hating each other. The only people who are going to lose this war is us. Stop the mandates. Stop letting someone else in charge make you think that you are not smart enough to know what the right thing to do is for yourself, your family and your neighbor without being forced. Humanity deserves more credit than that.

Wash your hands.

M.

Mean Mom’s

I read an article today, well, let’s face it, Covid times have me reading a lot of articles lately. But this one in particular hit home. With all the down time of empty nesting and quarantine, I tend to get “in my head” a bunch, like I’m sure a lot of us do lately. Sometimes that’s a dangerous place to spend too much time. Especially for those of us who have lead “colorful” lives. One of the recurring themes of self deprecation on a spin around the nucleus of my brain is parenting regret. Certainly I am not the only person who gets stuck on this particular track. It’s a doozy with many tentacles that sprawl out in so many directions. (Insert anxiety attack here.) I’m actually navigating one of these trips now. This one has me triggered pretty bad, so I’m actually writing this to center myself, help me focus, move on and frankly calm the F down!

You see, I never viewed myself as overly “maternal” I didn’t lose my shit when a baby walked into a room, or long for a family as soon as my ovaries awakened in adolescence. I mean I adore my children, but honestly I’m probably still Meh, about kids in general. I always secretly thought to myself during my child raising years, who in the Hell thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge of humans? I’m way to cynical and impatient for this. Having said this, I’m sure you can guess I was not a coddle mom. I wasn’t a fawn over them when they fell…I was the shake it off cause I told you not to do it in the first place, the I’m not taking you to the ER if you get hurt doing that, the I said NO, don’t ask me again! Yes I was a spanker, not a time out mom. Most of my child rearing years I was a single mom. (Divorced by my choice. That’s a whole other blog!) So I had to find the balance between nurture and fear…this is where the latent self doubt comes in. All the regret floods in at this weak spot. Was I present enough? Was I too hard on them, Have I completely ruined them emotionally and they don’t know it yet?

My kids are all successful and what seems well adjusted on the surface (I hope.) We have what I consider an amazing adult child parent relationship. (This was always important to me for reasons I won’t discuss.) They will tell me I was awesome and amazing and supportive. I never saw myself that way. I’m grateful they did. Still I wonder…

I was accused of being a mean mom, and picking on certain kids more than once in my parenting career. Now that they have their own families, (successfully navigating adulthood I might add.) I hope they see that parenting is hard. Some kids require a little bit of a stronger hand than others. It’s not that you don’t love them, you are harder on them because you do. Every parents ultimate goal is raise decent humans who meet their full potential in life. Sometimes that requires a Mean Mom.

So if you’re reading this and it hits home, drop me a little thumbs up of support, I could definitely use it right now. All of my “Meanie” moms (and dad’s) unite. Remember, we’re all just doing the best we can assembling these human units that came without the damn manual.

Stay mentally healthy and safe everyone.

Wash your hands.

Wear a mask.

Check on each other.

M. 😉

Enough.

International Women’s Day.

I have a confession to make. Up until today, and ironically enlightened by my husband (a dude) I always thought that IWD was just another pseudo, newly made up holiday in the inner sphere! It was today, 51 and 6 days old, that I actually researched the history. Turns out, it’s been a thing since 1908, around some of the Suffragette Movement, and officially deemed this day in March in 1977, as an International holiday. Needless to say, mind blown, and a little ashamed I haven’t been taking it serious this whole time in support of my sisterhood, and the strong, empowered, tenacious, Boss Ass Women who have fought the fight to prove one thing…WE’VE HAD THE POWER ALL ALONG! This I have always known! Pretty sure if I was born in the right decade, I totes would have been a Suffragette!

Our fight you see, I believe, has been to take it back, that frightening aura known as our power. From male dominated society, that out of fear (cause they sensed our power long ago) used the church, and culture, to ahem “keep us in our place” Thank goodness for rebellious queens. The ones who went against the grain, and endured the hardships, the arrests, the ridicule, the sacrifices for our collective future, and behold just a few generations later, look how far we’ve come. We have forced the very institutions who were instrumental in our oppression to evolve around us. We have forced evolution in barely more than a Century! How freaking powerful is that! We now have more females in leadership positions in government all over the world, and leading Fortune 500 companies than ever before in any time in history.

Man of the House…my ass! I guarantee you 90% of women run their households if they know it or not, or want to admit it. Trust me sista, if you’re reading this, your little Rome would crumble if you walked away more than 24 hours! So own it, YOU RUN YOUR EMPIRE! Be proud! We’ve earned it! Raise your daughters as strong, independent women, and my Boy Mom’s out there, raise your boys to be the men who respect a strong woman. No more of that “boys will be boys” crap! Now is our time, to continue to mold our future, and shatter those glass ceilings, we want equal pay, well guess what, I don’t foresee that being a struggle much longer, cause the ladies are large and in charge, and I guarantee are working on shooting that ceiling out first!

So in light of my enlightenment today, I assure you from now on I will celebrate International Women’s Day with a new vigor, I will shout it from the rooftops, I’ve marked all of my calendars, (it’s not on some, imagine that, still work to do ladies!)

We’re coming for you boys…#thefutureisfemale

M. ✊️👊💪🏻👑