The “Poke” Mandates

So I have been toiling with this post for months. What to say, how to convey my position to actually make people stop and listen, and not immediately go into attack mode and label me an anti-vaxxer. Actually, that might be a great place to start. Let me make one thing painfully clear, I AM NOT AN ANTI-VAXXER! I am current on all of my vaccines, including some most people may not have. I’m in the medical profession so I get my flu shot every year, have my titers checked, etc. I am also a Crohn’s patient. I have lived with this disease for 18 years. I’ve been on all the therapy drugs, immunosuppressants, steroids, you name it, we’ve tried it. I am fortunate that my Crohn’s falls on the mild side. So after years of personal research, different drug’s and basically just trying to figure out what the Hell worked, I was able to figure out that my diet and lifestyle were the biggest factors. So I figured out what foods were triggers, (it’s a lot of fun ones unfortunately) eliminated alcohol and caffeine (I know!) I’ve been able to control my disease with diet and lifestyle for 10 years. I am not immune-compromised. I will on occasion have a mild flare, (I mean it doesn’t go away.) I’ve just learned how to navigate the autoimmune waters. Now if your wondering why I’m telling you all of this, it’s for a reason. After my first bowel resection, the dietitian came in for a consult post op, and the first thing I asked her for was a copy of a Crohn’s diet. She looked at me and said “there isn’t one.” I looked at her bewildered as I lay there with a 5 inch incision from my bowels being resected due to a perforation, packed with dressing, granulating closed on it’s own. She then followed up with “there isn’t one, because everyone is different!” (Hold on to this statement for later readers.) “You’ll need to figure out what you can tolerate.” After she explained it, it did make sense, what worked for me, might not work for the next person with completely different DNA and anatomy. I mean not one of us humans is exactly the same.

Fast forward to today. September 2021, the time in history that will be remembered for COVID and vaccine MANDATES, and politicians making speeches with “for the greater good.” snuck in there, Which is generally always prefaced with “sacrifices must be made!”(Name one time in history where that political justification turned out good.) Corporations mandating vaccines or face termination, local city governments passing mandates to be vaccinated to socialize in public spaces. It’s like reading Orwell. People have been so indoctrinated with fear, and this perfect political weapon has been yielded with split hair precision, it’s literally divided families! Are you fucking kidding me! Dividing lifelong relationships and families…It’s got to stop!

So remember in that first paragraph above where I mentioned “everyone is different.” Well that’s not fairytale conjecture, that is scientific fact. Let me explain a bit why I’m so personally against mandates. First and foremost, it’s the vaccine itself. There just simply isn’t enough long term effect study data period. Second, for my patient population, Crohn’s, there is 0 study data! This little fact is by the actual admission of the FDA, CDC and pharmaceutical companies. There is no data for me to make a safe, confident medical decision to take the vaccine. We were left out of the initial studies. Let me say that again, THERE IS ZERO DATA. I don’t know how my body will react. It could be mild, it could be violent with devastating results. Anyone up for Russian Roulette? I am not alone, there are thousands of people in my shoes. People who are being mandated out of their livelihoods because they are scared to play Russian Roulette. They’re not anti-vaxxers, they, like me, are scared, and there is no one to hold accountable should the unthinkable happen from the vaccine. I’m furious we are at this point in our society. How did we get here?

My intention is not to make this political. But if you are of the mindset that people who are unvaccinated are selfish, you are part of the problem. If you’ve uttered the words “I don’t know why they just don’t take the damn vaccine!” You to are part of the problem. Let me turn that table a bit, I think you are being selfish for expecting masses of people you know nothing about, stand in line to do something they are not comfortable with, put themselves at risk, just to extinguish your fears. Do you see how that works? It’s a vicious cycle.

I want you to stop for a second and remember “we are all not the same.” And what that really means. I want you to stop judging, and bullying people for trying to hold onto their civil liberties and decide what is best for their own well being and physical person. We have that right. (For now.) Don’t throw that away so easily. If we continue down these paths, with these mainstream and social media poisoned mindsets, we are truly very soon going to be living in 1984.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Don’t judge, stop hating each other. The only people who are going to lose this war is us. Stop the mandates. Stop letting someone else in charge make you think that you are not smart enough to know what the right thing to do is for yourself, your family and your neighbor without being forced. Humanity deserves more credit than that.

Wash your hands.

M.

Mean Mom’s

I read an article today, well, let’s face it, Covid times have me reading a lot of articles lately. But this one in particular hit home. With all the down time of empty nesting and quarantine, I tend to get “in my head” a bunch, like I’m sure a lot of us do lately. Sometimes that’s a dangerous place to spend too much time. Especially for those of us who have lead “colorful” lives. One of the recurring themes of self deprecation on a spin around the nucleus of my brain is parenting regret. Certainly I am not the only person who gets stuck on this particular track. It’s a doozy with many tentacles that sprawl out in so many directions. (Insert anxiety attack here.) I’m actually navigating one of these trips now. This one has me triggered pretty bad, so I’m actually writing this to center myself, help me focus, move on and frankly calm the F down!

You see, I never viewed myself as overly “maternal” I didn’t lose my shit when a baby walked into a room, or long for a family as soon as my ovaries awakened in adolescence. I mean I adore my children, but honestly I’m probably still Meh, about kids in general. I always secretly thought to myself during my child raising years, who in the Hell thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge of humans? I’m way to cynical and impatient for this. Having said this, I’m sure you can guess I was not a coddle mom. I wasn’t a fawn over them when they fell…I was the shake it off cause I told you not to do it in the first place, the I’m not taking you to the ER if you get hurt doing that, the I said NO, don’t ask me again! Yes I was a spanker, not a time out mom. Most of my child rearing years I was a single mom. (Divorced by my choice. That’s a whole other blog!) So I had to find the balance between nurture and fear…this is where the latent self doubt comes in. All the regret floods in at this weak spot. Was I present enough? Was I too hard on them, Have I completely ruined them emotionally and they don’t know it yet?

My kids are all successful and what seems well adjusted on the surface (I hope.) We have what I consider an amazing adult child parent relationship. (This was always important to me for reasons I won’t discuss.) They will tell me I was awesome and amazing and supportive. I never saw myself that way. I’m grateful they did. Still I wonder…

I was accused of being a mean mom, and picking on certain kids more than once in my parenting career. Now that they have their own families, (successfully navigating adulthood I might add.) I hope they see that parenting is hard. Some kids require a little bit of a stronger hand than others. It’s not that you don’t love them, you are harder on them because you do. Every parents ultimate goal is raise decent humans who meet their full potential in life. Sometimes that requires a Mean Mom.

So if you’re reading this and it hits home, drop me a little thumbs up of support, I could definitely use it right now. All of my “Meanie” moms (and dad’s) unite. Remember, we’re all just doing the best we can assembling these human units that came without the damn manual.

Stay mentally healthy and safe everyone.

Wash your hands.

Wear a mask.

Check on each other.

M. 😉

Enough.

Covid-19, Quarantine and what not to do with gloves.

Okay, it’s time. It’s time for me to weigh in on this lunacy known as Coronavirus. I’m not a doctor, I’m not an Epidemiologist, I am however, a CST, a Surgical Tech. No one knows more about infection control and cross contam than we do! I feel it’s time to do a little PSA and maybe clear up some myths that are running rampant out there. Hopefully, you will learn something. Buckle up, this is long.

First let me tell you why I’m qualified to throw this advice around. As a Scrub Tech. I create and maintain a sterile field for all surgical environments, (yes including you when you’re the patient) I have to be excellent at my job, there is absolutely no margin for error. If I am prepping your surgery, you want the best Aseptic Technique trained staff. Your health and well being depend on it. No, this isn’t me gloating, this is FACT! You see, I am trained to see things differently than most, even some doctors and nurses. I am trained to see everything and everyone as contaminated. And yes this makes everyday off duty life an absolute fun house of public ignorance is bliss. The average Joe honestly, doesn’t have a clue the harm they subject themselves to daily just with subpar hygiene…let alone a viral pandemic.

Having said all this, let’s talk PPE. Personal Protective Equipment.

GLOVES– Insert deep sigh here. As someone who teaches Hand Hygiene, this is the thing in all of this craziness that makes me cringe the most! Two words…Cross. Contamination!! Your gloves are not protecting you. Unless you have a box of them that you’re carrying around all day and are changing them after everything you touch in public, honestly, don’t bother. They are a false sense of security. But okay, I get it Walmart Karen, they make you feel like you’re doing SOMETHING right? So fine, wear your gloves if you must. But please remember these rules…DO NOT TOUCH your child, hair, face, cellphone, shirt, adjust your pants, tie your shoes, dig in your purse, touch your wallet, credit card, keys, and Jesus take the wheel, eat with them on! (I’ve witnessed this) Refer back to the two words CROSS CONTAMINATION! If you do any of the aforementioned things while still wearing said gloves, you have done yourself no good.

WASH YOUR HANDS OFTEN

DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE

MASKS-The CDC has issued a statement for everyone to wear a mask in public. The only masks that are rated to effectively block droplets and particles are N-95, (95%) and only if worn properly. So here’s a little enlightenment. All healthcare workers are actually fit tested for the proper size N-95 that healthcare facilities are required to provide easy access to. The straps need to be placed and worn properly, they are extremely snug and not at all comfortable enough for the general public to walk around in to grocery shop. So, when I see Walmart Karen wearing one, and it’s covering everything but her eyes…yep, you guessed it, useless! Not to mention a waste of masks for people who really need them, frontline healthcare workers! Now let’s back up a minute to the whole CDC mask statement thing. Remember when I said that I was trained to see everything as contaminated? That’s basically what the CDC is saying in issuing that order. They are assuming everyone is contaminated if they are symptomatic or not, and the masks are to help control the possible ongoing contamination of surfaces and aerosol droplets from coughs and sneezing. (And breathing) so the masks are for the person next to you and behind you (6 feet hopefully) protection. They are not protecting you from breathing in anything. Masks are designed to be single use. If you are using handmade cloth masks, wash them daily.

Daily Decontam at Home- Okay, you’ve ventured out to get milk and eggs or formula and done a TP recon run, now I’m back home. Now what? First and foremost, SHOES STAY OUTSIDE! Shoes are gross without a full on pandemic. Why would you track everywhere you’ve been into your home? If you have an attached garage and won’t scar anyone for life by stripping down before entering, do it. If not, remove your street clothes ASAP and do not sit on your furniture. Shower (especially if you live with someone who is high risk)

Daily you should wipe down all touch points with a bleach solution. This includes door knobs, light switches, refrigerator, stove, microwave handles, pantry and cabinet doors, tables, counters, washer and dryer panels, anything with touch screens, toilet handles, faucets,etc. mop floors daily.

Quarantine-Do yourselves a favor, turn off social media for a while everyday and just do something else, read a book, go for a walk, anything. Your sanity is going to depend on it. Get your stats and info from the CDC. Those are the only numbers I trust. Stay home! That’s all I have to say about that.

Well I think that covers lesson one “The Basics” Please if any of my medical colleagues think of anything I’ve forgotten or have anything to add, please do and share.

I hope this was helpful.

I know these are crazy, scary, unprecedented, uncertain times. I promise we will all get through this together……(6 feet apart)

Stay healthy and safe everyone.

M.

PS. No Karen’s were harmed in making this blog! 😉😷

School Supplies.

It’s that time again. Back to School. This was always my favorite time of year for multiple reasons. No more bored kids at home eating their way to Narnia through the refrigerator, paying for summer camp, destroyed kitchen from aforementioned foraging, structure…and the annual school supply run. If you’re like me, you love school supplies. Brand new crayons, markers, folders, notebooks, backpacks. A new beginning to be shiny new and organized. And yes, there was always those obscure hard to find items on the list that were only obtainable at some specialty store like 3 days before school started. But it was all part of the excitement of the hunt.

Now that my girls are grown, and I’m an empty nester, I no longer have the satisfaction of school supply shopping. It makes me a little sad to walk past the section in the store and not load up on new crayons and pens. But I love seeing the joy of a big 4th grader picking out a new backpack and lunch kit with their mom. I mean, 4th grade is a big deal, Paw Patrol just won’t do anymore. Time to upgrade to Fortnight.

I actually found myself justifying a purchase of crayons, notebooks and sharpies the other day, you know, for when the grandkids come to visit. I may need an intervention.

But this morning I had an epiphany, I can buy some supplies and donate them to a school or church charity. Everyone wins, I get to scratch my school supply itch, and a child in need starts school ready to go. I know there are charities that do this, but what’s the fun in just hitting “click to donate”

So, if you’re an Empty Nester in the Houston area, and are longing for the days of school supply shopping. Please contact me. We’ll find some kids in need, and get to smell fresh crayons in the meantime.

M

The Empty Nester School Supply Society

Quiet time.

Quiet time.

https://thecreolegypsy.wordpress.com/2018/04/12/quiet-time/
— Read on thecreolegypsy.wordpress.com/2018/04/12/quiet-time/

“The Daisy Intervention” 

I read an article today on Mean Mom’s. Mean girls grow up. Needless to say, it struck a cord. It brought up a situation from years ago, that I rarely talk or think about. I refer to it as the “Daisy Intervention.” I know… huh? Well let me take you back…

It was 2001. I was a fresh, newly single mom. (By my choice.) I chose to leave my ex for numerous reasons that shall remain private. It was hard. Hurting another person is never easy. My girls were very young…Kindergarten and preschooler young. I was working full time, keeping a roof over their heads, putting food on the table, and struggling to keep them in their very expensive Catholic school. The work schedule and race to daycare pickup in time before they would require an organ per minute  for being late was struggle enough. Then one day it happened, my oldest daughter comes home from school elated that she wants to join the school “Daisy” troop! I sighed and smiled, long deep full body sigh after she left the room! But shared in her enthusiasm on the front. Cause that’s what a good parent would do. Needless to say, I agreed! Another girl in her class would be joining also, who’s mom I had become friendly with, not like besties, but enough for her to know my situation. 

Little did I know at the time, Daisy meetings were right after school for 3:45. Yes 3:45. What sadist comes up with these schedules? Did I mention I was a single struggling, full time working mom. Anywho, I explained the situation to the troop dictator, I mean leader in the beginning and explained I wouldn’t be able to make every meeting, but would do my best and would take extra snack, supply duty to make up for it, whatever I needed to do! She smugly agreed. (Insert red flag here.) The first few weeks went fine. But then my daughter would start making comments when I picked her up about my absence, and there were more and more unexplained tears at home. (I now suspect years later she was being bullied by dictators kid) My “friend” even pulled me aside and asked if there was anyway I could make a few more meetings. I told her I would try. So after lots of favors and juggling schedules, I made the next few meetings. My daughters face would light up. But keep in mind, all of the other moms were stay at home moms and were at every single meeting. My daughter being as young as she was, understood Mommy has to work, and will do her best to be at everything she can, but sometimes I couldn’t be. It was on the third meeting in a row that I juggled my ass off to be at, it happened…The Intervention.

I call it an intervention, because that’s what it was, but looking back, it was more like an ambush. As the girls busied themselves, 7 grown ass, including my “friend” women pulled me to the side, circled me, and proceeded to question my “commitment” and “engagement” my parenting skills, and questioned if this was the “right place” for my daughter. My 5 year old, popsicle project, glitter and glue covered daughter! Most of the talking was done by the dictator, one minion agreed with her, the “friend” couldn’t make eye contact, and the rest were split with the smug chin in the air, arms folded posture and the “I’m so sorry, I don’t agree with this” Look. Needless to say, I snapped! Not the “whatever” hair flip snap, it was the full on, brought out the Chalmette (where I’m from) mama bear, how dare you, you overbearing, no life, helicopter parent bitch snap! You would have to insert several bleep, bleep, you Bleep, bleeping, bleeps in my response to them. I walked into the other room, gathered my daughter and left. I was shaken up for a few days, a little because of the shock that it happened, a little because they included my daughter in the attack, but mostly because I had never been bullied! I mean this only happened in like middle and high school right? Nope, it doesn’t end, those mean girls and bullies in school turn into mean girls and bullies as adults. And what makes them worse, is they evolve with extra years of judgment hidden under their belts. It was a hard pill of a life lesson to swallow. 

But I have to say, that flipped a switch in me that day. It definitely made me a stronger parent, it made me impervious to people’s opinions of me, and it made me make it a point to always instill in my girls to take up for the little guy.  And to embrace independence full heartedly. I told my daughter about the “Daisy Intervention”  years later when she was old enough to appreciate it, we laughed and still laugh about it, because they know I was never PTA material. They could care less that I didn’t volunteer at school, or go have lunch with them a bunch, they are grateful for the other strengths I instilled in them. They are both in college and are smart, beautiful, wise beyond their years, independent, successful women. 

I wish I could remember Daisy dictator Mom’s name, my brain has filed it under useless information, so I have no clue. I bet her little angels are living on her sofa from all that coddling. I would love to send her my daughters college graduation announcement since she questioned my ability as a parent. But I won’t, instead I will hope she’s grown as a person and hope she’s had a nice life. 

As for my girls and I, we had a great life, it was hard at times, it was never without adventure. But I don’t think I would do any damn thing different. I wouldn’t change the bond it gave us for anything in the world…

But they never became Brownies. (Wink, wink!) 

Love and safe parenting.

M