via International Women’s Day.
International Women’s Day.
via International Women’s Day.
International Women’s Day.
I have a confession to make. Up until today, and ironically enlightened by my husband (a dude) I always thought that IWD was just another pseudo, newly made up holiday in the inner sphere! It was today, 51 and 6 days old, that I actually researched the history. Turns out, it’s been a thing since 1908, around some of the Suffragette Movement, and officially deemed this day in March in 1977, as an International holiday. Needless to say, mind blown, and a little ashamed I haven’t been taking it serious this whole time in support of my sisterhood, and the strong, empowered, tenacious, Boss Ass Women who have fought the fight to prove one thing…WE’VE HAD THE POWER ALL ALONG! This I have always known! Pretty sure if I was born in the right decade, I totes would have been a Suffragette!
Our fight you see, I believe, has been to take it back, that frightening aura known as our power. From male dominated society, that out of fear (cause they sensed our power long ago) used the church, and culture, to ahem “keep us in our place” Thank goodness for rebellious queens. The ones who went against the grain, and endured the hardships, the arrests, the ridicule, the sacrifices for our collective future, and behold just a few generations later, look how far we’ve come. We have forced the very institutions who were instrumental in our oppression to evolve around us. We have forced evolution in barely more than a Century! How freaking powerful is that! We now have more females in leadership positions in government all over the world, and leading Fortune 500 companies than ever before in any time in history.
Man of the House…my ass! I guarantee you 90% of women run their households if they know it or not, or want to admit it. Trust me sista, if you’re reading this, your little Rome would crumble if you walked away more than 24 hours! So own it, YOU RUN YOUR EMPIRE! Be proud! We’ve earned it! Raise your daughters as strong, independent women, and my Boy Mom’s out there, raise your boys to be the men who respect a strong woman. No more of that “boys will be boys” crap! Now is our time, to continue to mold our future, and shatter those glass ceilings, we want equal pay, well guess what, I don’t foresee that being a struggle much longer, cause the ladies are large and in charge, and I guarantee are working on shooting that ceiling out first!
So in light of my enlightenment today, I assure you from now on I will celebrate International Women’s Day with a new vigor, I will shout it from the rooftops, I’ve marked all of my calendars, (it’s not on some, imagine that, still work to do ladies!)
We’re coming for you boys…#thefutureisfemale
M. ✊️👊💪🏻👑
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School Supplies.
It’s that time again. Back to School. This was always my favorite time of year for multiple reasons. No more bored kids at home eating their way to Narnia through the refrigerator, paying for summer camp, destroyed kitchen from aforementioned foraging, structure…and the annual school supply run. If you’re like me, you love school supplies. Brand new crayons, markers, folders, notebooks, backpacks. A new beginning to be shiny new and organized. And yes, there was always those obscure hard to find items on the list that were only obtainable at some specialty store like 3 days before school started. But it was all part of the excitement of the hunt.
Now that my girls are grown, and I’m an empty nester, I no longer have the satisfaction of school supply shopping. It makes me a little sad to walk past the section in the store and not load up on new crayons and pens. But I love seeing the joy of a big 4th grader picking out a new backpack and lunch kit with their mom. I mean, 4th grade is a big deal, Paw Patrol just won’t do anymore. Time to upgrade to Fortnight.
I actually found myself justifying a purchase of crayons, notebooks and sharpies the other day, you know, for when the grandkids come to visit. I may need an intervention.
But this morning I had an epiphany, I can buy some supplies and donate them to a school or church charity. Everyone wins, I get to scratch my school supply itch, and a child in need starts school ready to go. I know there are charities that do this, but what’s the fun in just hitting “click to donate”
So, if you’re an Empty Nester in the Houston area, and are longing for the days of school supply shopping. Please contact me. We’ll find some kids in need, and get to smell fresh crayons in the meantime.
M
The Empty Nester School Supply Society
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Antelope Canyon
So we finally did it! We hiked down into Antelope Canyon. This has been way high on the Bucket List for some time now. If this isn’t on yours, add it immediately!
There are a few things you should know however before you go.
YOU CANNOT HIKE THE CANYON WITHOUT A GUIDE! It is located on Navajo land, and they won’t allow access without one of the local tour companies that are located both at the canyon sites and in the town of Page. We did the lower canyon, the main tour companies for lower are, Dixie Ellis and Ken’s. You can book in advance (recommended) or try your luck and buy tickets on site. We used Dixie Ellis, and our tour guide was awesome!
Now, lighting and time of day are going to play a big role in the colors you’ll see down inside the canyon. 10:30am is usually prime time ( for those famous sun beam shots) and is usually booked, but nonetheless, it is truly amazing any time of day.
If you’re going anytime from May through Summer, it’s HOT. I mean it’s Arizona, it’s the desert. So this is what to expect…
Once you get to the site and check in, be prepared for lots, I can’t stress enough, LOTS of tour bus people. You’ll watch a ancient Navajo ceremonial dance, and then you’ll line up. Hopefully you won’t get stuck behind one of the large tour groups, because this can mean a 30-45 minute wait in the Arizona heat, waiting for everyone to slowly descend the stairs (some steep) into the canyon. There is also about a 150 yard walk in the sun and sand to get to the stairs themselves. Bring a bottle of water, oh and backpacks of any kind are not allowed, so forget that Camelpack.
Once you descend into the canyon, man oh man, breathtaking! So worth braving that unfortunate bathroom facilities experience!
I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves. Bucket. List. Frigging. Check.
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Techno Detoxing.
I’ve given up Facebook! Wow! Just typing it feels empowering. Well, Let me slow down a bit, it’s like day 3! I’m not going to say this isn’t hard. It is. I don’t think it should be, I’m a grown ass woman with responsibilities but trust me, it is. If you’ve ever tried this, you understand what I’m talking about.
I mean, what did I do with my time 10 years ago? 10 YEARS! I’ve been a slave to this for that long. Saying that aloud is a little more sobering than I thought! But seriously, how did we manage without it? I mean there was the whole raising teenagers thing, and working ungodly hours at the hospital and maintaining a household. So how did I ever find the time in the first place right? I think it was gradual. At first, for like the first few years I didn’t even understand how it worked, so it was an every now and then thing that caused more frustration than it was worth. These were the “Facebook illiterate” years.
But then those crafty little techno hipsters at Facebook got wise to the struggles of the “Facebook challenged” and started making it easier to figure it out, Hell, they even started gearing it towards us! (Eye rolling the whole time I’m sure as they wrote the middle age algorithms) the next thing I knew, it was the first thing I did when I opened my eyes, my morning cigarette so to say! I had to have it. My excuse of course was it was “a way to stay in touch with family” or “share pictures” and it is good for those things. It’s helped me reunite with old friends, but really It feeds into our FOMO! A soapbox for shouting your opinions, (some people use this more than others and shouldn’t) and our voyeuristic tendencies as humans. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Unfortunately as technology makes leaps and bounds daily, there are darker sinister forces that use all of this to their benefit. Most of the pragmatic, sensible among us can see right through this and move along, unfortunately common sense doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden. This has become a little exhausting for me lately. So I decided to take a break.
This is what I’ve noticed in the past 3 days…
1. I had no idea how many times a day I picked up my phone to check it. It’s a lot.
2. I had no idea how difficult it would be to not have it, to just mindlessly scroll through.
3. I had no idea how much nonsense I chronicled about my day. Until you have nothing to post on.
4. This is the hardest. The FOMO. That doesn’t end with the teen years. I clearly still have it. Bad! I hate not being in the loop.
So this is where I am, Day 3. Is it hard? Yes. It really is an addiction. Is it the hardest thing I’ve had to do? NO. I think anyone can do it if they try. I’m not saying I’m giving it up forever. Just a brain break for a while. I think it’s good for us to technology detox occasionally. (I’ll check in on day 10!)
Besides, there’s always Pinterest! 😉
Happy Instagramming.
M.
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Horseshoe Bend.
On our road trip home this year from Washington State to Texas, we wanted to hit a few places we haven’t been before to cross off of the list. Horseshoe Bend was one of them.
This is a must see when in Page, AZ. or doing a Glen Canyon/Lake Powell or Grand Canyon vacation. If you are visiting in the summer, my best advice is do it in the morning, or very late in the evening. Page in the summer is HOT! And frankly it gets crowded as the day goes on.
There are a couple of things you must prepare for. This is a little bit of a hike, 1.25 miles round trip. First up a short steep hill, then down to the rims edge, all in sand. I wouldn’t call this wheelchair accessible, or for anyone not in good health. It’s somewhat strenuous. And remember it will seem easy going down, but you need to get back up. BRING WATER! And I would definitely wear a hat. There is no escaping the sun 100%
Now the most important thing you should know if your going in the next few months, is the best vantage point is closed and under construction for improvement. This was a huge disappointment for us. It was started in November of last year and should have been finished by now. But when we were there in June. It didn’t look like they were close to finishing. So what does this mean? It means you will have to get very close to a unrailed cliff edge to try and get a picture of the whole Bend, and it will be difficult to do. Especially if you have a fear of heights. And PLEASE mind your small children and pets near the cliff edge.
These were the best shots we could get. (Along with some trailhead shots)
I absolutely still recommend this as a must see in Page/Glen Canyon area.
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The Mind Crisis.
It’s taken me a few days to get the courage to write this post. This is a topic no one wants to discuss. But right now in the state of our society, we need to have this conversation more than ever. So I decided to open up and get as raw as possible.
A couple of days ago we lost another American Icon. Not to an accident, or Cancer or some other sudden undiagnosed illness, but to suicide. This one hits particularly close to home for me. Kate Spade was very close to my age, and this is on the heels of my own personal battle with severe anxiety/panic disorder and mild depression. I know the first thing we think when someone famous takes their own life, is “why.” They have it all. Like Robin Williams or Chris Cornell. How are they not happy? How did they get to this point. There was a time, when I would have been one of the people shaking my head. Sadly now, I understand why. Mental illness does not discriminate. No amount of money or success will protect you from it. Now don’t panic, I’m not suicidal. In fact, those people who know me, would shake their head in disbelief that I suffer with Mental health issues. From the outside, I’m kinda the intense, in your face, get shit done kinda girl. I am a Wonder Woman, a handle everything, Alpha female who can handle everything and is strong…until I’m not. I’ve been to the edge, and yes I understand how people can take their own lives.
You see, I didn’t know Kate Spade. I did and still do love her style and creativity, in fact on one of my first trips to NY, one of the first places I made a beeline for was her store in SoHo. I of course couldn’t afford anything (single mom) but It was still divine. But I don’t know what her daily struggle was, I don’t know what her triggers were, or what was the thing that pushed her over the edge. I wasn’t living her pain, but I can tell you, I have been living mine, so I will speak from my own experience.
For those of you who have been fortunate enough to never experience any form of mental health issue, first let me say, This is not something any of us can control! We can’t “shake it off” or “buck up” or “get it together ” or “just choose to be happy ” what you also may not realize is that there is pain. Physical, exhausting pain. But you still have to some how manage to function. Kate still ran her empire, Robin still made movies that made us laugh or cry, and Chris still made amazing music, I still work (occasionally) can entertain you with my wit and sarcasm, and run my empire (aka household). Meds can help, but only short term, it always breaks through, therapy will help, but it doesn’t take away the mental and physical exhaustion. You so desperately want to wake up feeling good and motivated and tackle the day, but then the anxiety, panic or depression creeps back in and takes over and you are overwhelmed. No matter how hard you try, it takes control of your day.
So I’ve decided to write this post, and really open up about my personal struggle and what a day for me is like. Hopefully, it will help someone relate, and maybe realize they are not alone, or need to be embarrassed, or think they are being weak. You’re not! Here goes…
First let me say, my anxiety/panic comes in spurts, usually after a health issue (mine is PTSD health related.) I have Crohns and have had a few emergency surgeries. My first panic attack was in 2003 after my diagnosis. I didn’t know it was a panic attack, I just felt like I was going to pass out all of a sudden and couldn’t breathe. I went to the doctor and was put on meds and was fine. After a few months, I got off of the meds, and didn’t experience another one until 2007. The latest episode started a few months ago. I’ve been pretty consistently sick for the past year. This one has been especially intense, and crippling. (Painful) I’m telling you this, so you understand most people with severe depression, fight it everyday their entire life. I have only endured it occasionally.
So back to a day in the life of me. I can wake up and will either feel okay, or slightly anxious. This can be, a headache, sweaty, nauseous, heart palpitations, dizziness, shaky, skin crawling, weakness, dry mouth, complete inability to concentrate or hold a conversation, and so on. I will take half of an anxiety pill, to calm down enough to be able to function and get dressed. I will either go to work, where it is a struggle because it is sensory overload, and the feeling of being trapped which is a huge trigger for me, or I’ll go run errands, because being in the house causes more anxiety so I have to get out. But then being away from home is overwhelming.
The basic act of going to the grocery is a chore. Say I need to get milk, we all know that is strategically placed all the way in the back of the store, for me this can trigger a panic attack because it’s too far away from the door, heart palpitations, sweating palms, can’t breathe will ensue. So I generally stick to smaller stores. FORGET the mall, long lines anywhere, lines that are cattle chutes, security at the airport is a nightmare, in fact airports and being trapped in a cramped plane, those are double med days.
I can literally be feeling okay one minute and be standing in line somewhere and my palms start to sweat. Other triggers for me are being stuck in traffic, going out to eat at restaurants, any sort of obligation, a meeting, a party, a function, etc, being in the middle of nowhere traveling, not having a hospital nearby, driving on a busy interstate, roads without emergency lanes…etc. I’m sure you see the pattern here. Oh did I mention we love to travel, and all of these things are required to do so. (Double med days) oh and frankly not having meds is a huge trigger. Gotta love that one.
This is all exhausting. I mean, painfully exhausting. You just want it to end, you’re praying for the mental breakdown to come, that will maybe cleanse you in some way and make it stop. But the tears never seem to come. It’s because it’s usually not about tears. That would be to easy, you generally cry over specific reasons, but there’s nothing specific or reasonable about any of this.
So that’s me right now. My husband is trying to be supportive and doing a great job. I know it’s hard for him, because he is not someone who has ever experienced this, and is really a shake it off kind of guy. But I’ve been trying to educate him, and he has been doing his own research and is starting to understand things a little clearer. Like this is a real thing. Not just someone not being able “to handle things”
If you are reading this and you’re rolling your eyes, thinking “Whatever, grow a pair!” Just stop! You’re being an asshole. I know, I used to be you! You need to be understanding and compassionate and patient and concerned and most of all kind. Remember it could be you one day.
If you’re reading this and are relating to any of it, then I urge you to talk about it. Don’t be ashamed or afraid of being judged. Talk to someone, take the meds, do the therapy, Hell, talk to me if you need to. I would tell you to be strong, but I already know you are…you got out of bed this morning.
Lastly, Mental Health awareness needs more than a month of awareness! Yes I’m looking at you May! It needs our awareness everyday. It is the catalyst for so much of the horrendous acts happening in our world today. We can’t brush it off or ignore it because it doesn’t personally affect us anymore.
So you see, standing at the edge has made me understand, how people can step off of it. No matter how much they have going for them, or how much money they have. None of it matters when your soul is in pain. For those souls who have lost their battle, I pray they have finally found peace, and that their loved ones can find peace knowing they are no longer in pain.
RIP Kate.
M.
#katespade
#mentalhealthawareness
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Turning 50 and Hugs…New Orleans style.
Well this is the year that me and all of my best girlfriends turn the Big 5-0. As luck would have it, we’re all New Orleans ladies. With the exception of myself, who is a Texas, California, Texas transplant. Everyone else however, still lives back home. My family included. So I’ve had the pleasure of traveling back to New Orleans quite a bit this year. For that matter, I even had my own Big 5-0 Unicorn Rave there! I mean that’s where all of my family and lifelong ride or die peeps are, so why wouldn’t I?
Now that you have The backstory for this post, I’m going to tell you my absolute favorite thing about going back home to New Orleans. It’s partly the food, but it’s mainly the HUGS! If you’re not from there, you’re scratching your head right now. If you are from there, you totally get what I’m talking about. You see, we are huggy people! I guess because most of us are part Italian, Irish, Spanish or French. And by “huggy” I don’t mean the barely lean in with a little awkward pat on the back type, I mean, full body, long, strong, heartfelt, soul cleansing, energy transferring, I’ve missed you sister type! The kind that say, “We love you, you are missed, we’ve got your back no matter what, you’re always a member of this tribe!” Kind of hugs. Sometimes they are probably inappropriately long. (Nah) And you will get these hugs from every member of the family! And time nor distance will dial down the huggyness, They are rejuvenating.
So if you’ve never been to New Orleans, put it high on the bucket list and go! Go for the food, the ambiance, the charm, the culture, the history, the party. But mostly go for the people…they are good people, the best kind I know.
They will ask you “How’s ya mom anem?” They’ll ask you if “you ateyet?” And then they’ll give you a big soul cleansing hug! I can’t think of any better “Lagniappe” than that.
Hugs to y’all.
M
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Quiet time.
Quiet time.
https://thecreolegypsy.wordpress.com/2018/04/12/quiet-time/
— Read on thecreolegypsy.wordpress.com/2018/04/12/quiet-time/
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Quiet time.
INFJ. Yep according to Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator, that’s me. Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judgement. If you read any form of the description, I fit it in every way and shape possible. We are rare. We are complex, and personally I feel if society ever collapses, we would rise like the Phoenix from the ashes as the New governing body, and the world would forever live in harmony! Okay, maybe a dramatic stretch there, (but not really) We generally like our quiet time and space, don’t hate being alone, and our intuition levels are so sharp, we can feel things in the air before they happen. And can see straight through a con artist at 50 yards!
Having said all this brings me to the point of my post today. Disclaimer: This is not a cry for help! Just hopefully a message for anyone else suffering in silence. You are not alone.
My husband and I some years ago were forced into a non-traditional family situation with him working halfway across the country, while I stayed home in Texas to raise 3 kids, mostly solo. He was only home a couple of months out of the year and holidays. We did this for, wait for it…6 Years!!! Looking back now, I don’t know how we/I survived it. I’m thinking that whole INFJ dna thing helped, and the fact that I would literally hide in my bedroom occasionally to get away from “those people” err I mean kids, somewhat helped. But I will not lie, It. Was. Hard. The challenges it presents are enough for a whole series of blog posts! I probably should write a book. I’m thinking it would go straight to the bestseller list in a week. (Insert blended family drama here) By some stroke of God, we made it through, no one went to jail, and the kids are awesome functioning adults.
Skip ahead, 5 years later. Today, I’m sitting here all INFJ, alone (my natural habitat right?) My hubby as fate would have it, is on the road again for work till June. Not indefinitely like before, just June, a light at the end of the tunnel. According to Meyer-Briggs, I should be in loner heaven. So why am I struggling? I’m here to attest, alone time should only be taken in small doses. If not, it will manifest into loneliness. Demons will arrive uninvited, and your mind, well your mind can turn into a corrupt spirit from Hell! This is a big pool to have to tread around to long in. You’ll drown, and dammit no one will be here to notice! I miss him, I miss the kids, I miss the occasional chaos, and frankly I’m all out of people to silently diagnose from across the room. A part of me wants to quit my job and fly cross country to just be with him. This of course is not feasible because he works 12 hours a day, I would still be alone and I happen to like my job! But trust me, the voice is there.
I don’t know how we did this for 6 years, I’m sure having kids to raise, and working full time, was a distraction even though that at the time was a struggle in and of itself. (3 teenagers at once!) it’s crazy how right now, I would love to be surrounded by the crazies instead of just me. It’s an ode to “careful what you wish for.”
I go visit him in a couple of weeks. It can’t get here fast enough. He’ll still have to work, but just knowing I will see him every day for something as simple as dinner sounds amazing! I will be wearing my sassy extrovert pants! (But just for a little while) In the meantime, I’ll be driving my kids crazy with extra visits. Because what 20 something’s don’t want to hang with mom on the weekend! (Eye roll here!)
M.
The INFJ/Occasional Extrovert
The real life adventures of a Creole Gypsy 